Alternate title: Things that might seem cute the first time you hear them, but after a while, they get offensive.
First, I'll give you some suggestions of nice things to say to me about my kids:
Notice, none of these say he/she or him/her in any of these.
"Oh, what a cute baby."
"What beautiful hair."
"Look at that gorgeous red hair."
"Such a sweet heart."
Things that really aren't so nice to say to me about my kids.
"Where did she get that red hair?"
Well, I could draw a Punnet Square and do a lesson in genetics, I'd rather not. Red hair is recessive. Two people that do not have red hair can and do have kids with red hair. In fact, both of our girls have red hair. I don't like the implication that she's not mine or my husband's.
"Oh, wow, she doesn't miss a meal does she?" or the alternate "Are you sure you are feeding her enough."
Ummmm.... I want a healthy happy baby and she is that. I do take offense to this. I feel like people are implying that I am over feeding her or underfeeding her (in Izzy's case; she was seriously underweight). Kids are different (Izzy at 4 months, 4th percentile; Nat at 4 months 50th percentile). They will be different shapes and sizes. And, yes, I do have silly nicknames for them that go according to their sizes, "skinny mini" and "chuck a munk" but those are mine!!! So, yes, it may be a double standard.
Natalie at 4.5 months.
I want my girls to know they are beautiful and gorgeous girls and I don't like the fact that people at society are already weighing in on how they look and their sizes.
"So, are you going to try for a boy" or "when are you going to start trying for a boy?"
First of all, my reproductive system and mine and my husband's reproductive practices are none of your business. Second, I really don't like my girls to hear that. I love them. We love them. I don't want them to feel like we love them less because they are girls.
We are so happy, blessed and fortunate to have such beautiful, healthy girls. It really doesn't matter what gender they are.
And, when you ask Isabelle "Are you beautiful?" and she responds "No, I'm gorgeous" know that she is and that she will always think so.
This is not directed at any one specific comment either here or in real life, just things that I have been noticing and been bothered by. I know that people mean well when they ask them, but when I hear them repeatedly, I do start to get offended.
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Hmmm…is this what I have to look forward to? LOL
People ask me about the boy thing all the time and it drives me crazy too! Do I want a boy? yes! Will I love this baby any less if it is another girl? NO!
Your girls are both absolutely georgous!! My husband is a red head and always says that red haired girls are the prettiest!!
Ok, I’m guilty of calling Natalie chunky once, but for the record, Chicken had a few pounds on her by her age. Not only that, but I LOVE chubby babies because you can squeeze them and skinny ones so you can keep them little a little longer!
And I know exactly what you’re talking about when it comes to the “are you having any more?” Or for me I get annoyed when people say, “Man, you’ve got your hands full with three kids 3 and under!” To which I respond, no they’re good kids and while every day isn’t perfect, I love every moment.” sometimes they’ll say, “You’re a better person than me.” To which I WANT to respond, “Yes, I am.” But I hold my tongue. ;oD Then there’s the “You sure are lucky your kids are so good!” I get livid with that one. It cheapens the hard work I’ve done with them to MAKE them good. I always respond, “It’s not luck, it’s hard work.”
I know you said you weren’t aiming these at anyone, but I just want to make sure I didn’t offend you when I said she was a chunky monkey. If I did, I hope you’ll forgive me!
You and your kids are so BEAUTIFUL, Krystyn, all of you in your own special way!
I know… I have heard so many things come out of people’s mouth. I think we need to think of something witty to say in response. Im sure if we put our heads together we can.
PS/ You are too darn cute! As are the girls.
First, I agree, your girls are so very beautiful!
But then I just had to let you know a similar thing just happened to me today, like a few hours ago. We were at an appointment for my husband and a man commented that Ava was pretty, but then he said she “looks healthy”. I took this to mean chunky and got a little offended. I just smiled and said oh yeah. That was the first time for us, it didn’t bother me too terribly much. I don’t think.
I guess I better get used to it though, because she’s probably going to always be a little chubby considering my husband and me- before I lost weight. And I know it’s hard for people (especially without kids) to discern what might be offensive. So I also agree that we need to just always comment positively to our girls, and boys.
Oh, and I get the ‘when are you gonna give Ava a little brother or sister’ all the time too. Yes, it’s none of anyone’s business.
Twitter: mycomplicated
March 4, 2009 at 12:49 pm
I can understand where you're coming from and I don't blame you!
I've probably been guilty of a few of those before…never thought about it like that though!
Your girls ARE gorgeous — and so are you! I LOVE that picture of you & the girls!
Twitter: patric3_b
March 4, 2009 at 1:03 pm
My sister & I have red hair & neither of my parents has red hair, so I remember hearing that all the time! In fact, I still get that sometimes! That picture of you and the girls is adorable! Both of your girls are too cute, that's all that matters! (and that they're healthy!)
Skinny, chunky, red headed..I love it all about them!!! You and Matt should be (and I know you are!) very proud of your 2 girls!!
Brush off the comments whenever you can..people dont realize how rude they can be with their comments!!
I get the “are you ever going to have another one..he is already 6″ Like I dont freaking know that already!!! lol
Love the pics!
Arg. I hear you! What gets me is “Oh, you have 3 boys!” NOOO…seriously…I know she’s a little lacking in the hair department. But girly and PINK people. Girly and pink! Also I get, “wow, are they all yours?” Ummm…no, I saw this one in the parking lot.”
I love the picture at the end. Izzy is so sweet (and clean!) looking! I love how the towel is covering Nat’s eyes. Is she crying? You look beautiful too!
Haha!
My favorite is when someone will say, “She sure is coming around. She gets prettier everyday.”
Was she ugly vefore then? Idiots don’t think sometimes.
Twitter: elainea
March 4, 2009 at 1:36 pm
Well, you know I have a sensitive place for the boy/girl comments right now. EVERYONE who knows I have two boys says “So are you hoping for a girl this time??” It’s driving me nuts. I’m hoping for a healthy baby people!
In other words, I feel ya! ; ) And I feel since I became a mom myself, I tend to censor comments like these before I even dare make them!
can i just say amen and high five sister!!
seriously people really can be so annoying sometimes. ugh!
ps – the three of you together has pure delight written all over it
people are so stupid, both of your girls are gorgeous!! I am loving their locks and baby cuteness!
some people!!! Girl, I have always wanted a red headed child. I think both of your girls are beautiful!!! I love their hair. I think red hair is so unique and beautiful!! Love love it!!
AMEN!
I have actually written a few posts like this one myself.
I always get the, “Where do they get the blond hair from?” And I even heard a guy in a restaurant shout to his wife, “I wonder whose kids those are because they sure don’t belong to THEM!” I wanted to punch him in the face.
Do I really have to explain to people that my hair used to be super light blond and curly when I was little? Do I really have to tell strangers that this dark brown is not my natural color and that it is actually dishwater blond? Is that really their business?
And don’t even get me started on the “are you gonna try for a boy” comment. I have three boys. I hear that comment ALL THE TIME but in reverse.
People are just dumb.
I know how ya feel. I am one of 3 girls and my parents were constantly asked if they were trying for a boy. My Dad always said no, that he always wanted girls. I always really loved his answer and knew that he meant it. It made us feel so special.
eek! Sorry if I’ve ever said anything offensive! I know I’ve told you before, I think you have a beautiful family!
I totally know what you mean. Husby and I still don’t have kids yet, but once I got married someone said:
So your kids will be at the back of the alphabet.
Really?! I love my last name – it symbolizes love, happiness and my family. Whether my kids sit in the front or back of the classroom really shouldn’t matter.
The pictures were awesome in this post! I loved seeing Isabelle as a baby. As a newer follower it was fun to see her then. And you look beautiful – and so happy with your girls.
I think people, in general, mean well but it comes out wrong. Since the day I met my husband it’s been “When are you getting married?” And now since we’ve been married it’s been “When are you having kids?” or better yet “What’s wrong – - Do you know how babies are made?” Really, people?! C’mon! A little respect!
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