Earlier this week, I went out with some girl friends to hang out and have a glass of wine.
We were chatting about the usual; kids, vacations, husbands, cleaning, etc. Your typical night out.
Except, I learned something. Something that I'm quite baffled and surprised by.
Some of them mentioned that they hide things from their husbands; things like clothes, shoe and purse purchases. Literally, they hide them. Not just not tell them, but they have hiding places so their husbands don't find out.
And, on the rare chance they do find out, they admitted to lying to their spouses/significant others.
I'm not judging. I just don't get it.
I didn't understand this idea.
I still don't understand this idea.
I said this to my friends. I told them I have never had to lie about a purchase. They told me I am lucky because Mr. Serious doesn't get upset at me for buying things. They said their husbands get upset with them and give them a hard time.
I countered that I am a very frugal person and he knows if I buy something that I think it was a good deal and he usually tells me how proud he is of me for getting such a good deal.
Maybe it's because I'm not an impulse buyer, so I think about my purchases before I make them. Most of the time actually doing research to find the best deal.
Maybe I am lucky that Mr. Serious does not care about a shoe purchase or a pair of jeans. Maybe he's lucky that I wouldn't lie about it.
Honesty is one of the rocks of our relationship and I like it that way.
So, I put this out to you: Do you lie to your husband? About clothing purchases or shoes? About your kids? About what you had for lunch?
Feel free to go anonymous if you are truly worried about it. But, I'd really like to know; are Mr. Serious and I a rarity or the norm?
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Hubby and I are the same way. I dont keep big secrets and I dont lie. I dabbled with that when I was a teenager and I thought I needed to rebel against my parents. I hated the feeling.
I don't lie about purchases, but sometimes he doesn't even know that I went shopping. I don't ever purposely keep things from him, but he isn't that observant so he misses a lot. I am a bargain shopper anyway, the hubs is the one who spends the big bucks!
I am with John 24/7 now that we are retired. I have no chance to lie to him….not that I ever did…well maybe I do a little….I sometimes spend more money on gifts for our kids and grandkids than I admit…shhh…don't tell him…he is happier not knowing what things actually cost…. I don't lie to him…I just don't tell him everything.
Besides, he has a new honey now. Come by my blog and find out what he did.
I am an honest girl!
Plus, Chet checks the bank account often, and I could never keep money aside without him knowing!
I am with you, honestly is what makes the relationship!
I grew up with a girl whose mom TAUGHT her & her sister to hide every purchase in the trunk of the car & just gradually get out what they wanted to wear so their dad wouldn't know how much they bought.
I never did that. When my mom & I went shopping, the rule was that I had to show my dad what I bought & maybe even try it on (bathing suits!) If I couldn't show it to him, then I couldn't buy it. Now, I sometimes get frustrated with myself because I can't let myself buy something without asking him first!!
Lying about stuff like that is sooo wrong. Talk about having some faith! Granted, my husband can get mad at me, but I NEVER lie. Usually I know he'll get mad at me, but it's a good deal so I don't feel as guilty. I might not TELL him unless he asks, but I never hide anything and he certainly knows it. He's going to find out if he's doing our finances anyway! Wow, I'm surprised by this too. Their marriages must not be as solid as ours if they have to do that!
I've never lied about anything I've bought and, except for presents, I've never hidden anything. Sometimes he would comment "Did you really need that?", but he never gives me a hard time about it. I can be an impulse buyer, but I never buy anything really expensive. I don't need to know about every euro he spends and vica versa.
Most of the money spent on clothing/shoes probably goes to the kids.
L,
Tania
I don't lie…I try it on for him or show him the goods for the kids! Since he travels a good bit, he doesn't see everything that comes in the house right away (but usually I tell him about my fun shopping)!! I used to be nervous about telling him how much money I spent (especially when I first started the staying at home and we decreased our income by half). But I told him…he really doesn't care. He knows that I will get what we need and sometimes spend extra, but as long as we meet our saving budget he doesn't care.
My husband is never home so it never really has been much of a issue I guess. I buy things and he may not even notice I bought it for months at a time because he is gone. He may ask once in a while is that new and I will say yeah about 3 months ago it was new but you were gone. He will so OH OK either he likes it or dislikes is not even mentioned. LOL So I guess I have a get out of jail free card becuase he is never here anyway.
i'm with you, no lying here! i cannot lie to my hubby! i love that we are so honest with each other. we're both frugal too and we have a budget, and even though we have a budget I'll still ask if it's ok for some purchases=)
You know I have recently heard people tell me the same… I tell Mark because I am like you…I usually find a good deal and I don't really buy it unless I can get a good deal on it. Very rarely do I do otherwise, but I do discuss with him first.
Ohhh, good post! We discuss almost every purchase we both make, if it's over 50 dollars or so… so no.
If it's anyone that tries to hide new clothing, it's my husband
Honest is the root of marriage.
Twitter: Lindsay_Y
October 11, 2009 at 10:10 pm
I'm thankful I have never "had" to lie about buying anything. Sure it helps that I pretty much hate shopping in general…so when I DO actually go out and buy something not essential, I, like you, look for a deal and get excited if I find one, then share with hubby!
Good post!
I know some people that do that. I think you're blessed to have the kind of husband that you do.
Why hide things and lie to your husband about what you bought? I think if you lie about shopping, it will lead to other things later on. Some people become habitual liars because they've done it for so long. I think it's best to have open communication. If people are hiding their purchases, they are probably feeling guilty about buying it.
Most husbands I know don't care what their wives buy as long as they stay withing the budget and not spend $400 and up on one shopping trip for a few things.
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