Dear Weather-
Pouring down rain on us during trick or treating is so not cool. Could you please get it together for next year? Thanks.
Kindly,
A mom who doesn’t want two soaking wet babies
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Dear 40+ year old lady,
It is completely unacceptable for you to knock on our door, hold out your bag and say “trick or treat!” And, if you are going to go through that trouble…at least have a costume and a baby or a kid as a prop.
Kindly,
The lady who doesn’t give out free candy to “grown a$$ women” (in Mr. Serious’ words)
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Dear 17+ year old kids-
A beanie does not make you a gangster. Make a little effort with your costume, please. And, don’t use your backpack for treat or treating. Backpacks are for homework and textbooks and stuff, alright?
Kindly,
Mrs. Serious, your friendly high school science teacher
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Dear Kids Who Think It’s Okay to Knock Repeatedly on My Door When the Light is Off,
You are lucky I was calm when I answered the door. And, yes, I might be a little crazy. But hey, didn’t your mom tell you not to knock on a door with the lights off? It’s rude. And, I’ll tell you again next year if you come back.
Kindly,
The lady who had to teach you something your mom should have taught you (see below).
P.S. Thanks for not coming back and egging or TPing our house.
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Dear Parents of Above Kids,
It is not okay to drive your kids around and let them knock on doors with lights off. Yes, I saw you sitting in front of the house in your car driving along side of them. That’s not cool, parent. Not cool.
Kindly,
The lady who was doing your job and schooling your kids
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Dear Neighbor,
The Mask a la Scream with the fake dripping blood down the front is NOT acceptable to wear when a three year old knocks on your door. Nor is it acceptable when a one year old knocked on your door two years ago. And, your wife saying “look at the silly man” does not make it cute, either. That is NOT funny, and we won’t be coming back to your house. Please get back on your rocker and learn what is appropriate and what isn’t. Please stop scaring my daughters. I don’t think it’s funny. Not. One. Bit!
Kindly,
Your neighbor who things you are rude and crazy
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