A laundry basket provides much fun and entertainment.  Sometimes, they are enjoyed as double passenger vehicles, and sometimes, one person per seat.

Either way, they have tons of fun.

And, remember that they do in fact love each other.  And, they like to hug.

And be oh, so silly together.

And, sometimes, the ride gets a little shaky and they fall over.

Of course, they get right back up and do it all over again.

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So, I have my own dentist story to tell, but I'm saving that one for another day.

Remember when I tried to cut Iz's finger off?  Well, before that there was some serious silliness (is that an oxymoron?  Maybe).

As she sits down in the chair and the hygienist rolls her chair over, she politely lets me know that our insurance only covers a fluoride treatment once a year (which is odd because I'm quite certain I get it twice a year).  But, for the low price of $28 cash, I am welcome to allow the treatment, but I am responsible for it, out-of-pocket.

I politely declined.  Does that make me a bad mom?  I hope not.  We brush daily and we have pretty good teeth genes, so I'm banking on that.

But, when the assistant comes over, she asks Iz what flavor she wants (I think it's for the toothpaste).  It's not.  It's for the fluoride (the one I declined).  The assistant then squirts it on the tray.

I ask if that's the fluoride and the hygienist says yes.  I remind her I declined that.

What does she do?  She covers it with some gauze and says, okay.

So, I wonder.  They were going to charge me $28 for that dollop of fluoride they were going to brush on her teeth.  The one that they've already put on the tray (and I hope can't use on somebody else).  But, it's okay to cover it with gauze and just throw it out?

Really, how much does that fluoride cost them?  And, how could they be so blasé about it, but want to charge me $28?

I guess I should have asked if I could have taken it and brushed it on Iz's teeth myself.  Wonder what they would have charged me for that.

This nonsense.  This is what's wrong with our health care system.

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It’s time again for Mommy and Me Monday. Pop out from behind that camera and capture yourself in action with your kids.  Check out the inaugural Mommy and Me Monday for more information.

After dinner, you can pretty much guarantee that Isabelle will ask for a treat.  She went for a blue lollipop.

As she started eating it, she wanted to know what color her tongue was and kept sticking it out to see it.  She even went into the bathroom to see how blue it was.

Her lollipop looked so good I wanted to have one, too.  So I did.

And, then Isabelle looked right over at daddy and said “Daddy, you need to get the camera and take a picture of me and mommy with our blue tongues!”

And, so, he did.

Aren’t we cute?

Yeah, I thought so, too.

(I don’t know what is going on with my shirt/bra strap…you’ll have to just excuse that.)

Want to join in with Mommy and Me Monday?  Grab the button code (click in the box and copy it, then paste it into your post; it works best if you paste it into the html/source portion of your blog).  Then add the link to your post in the linky (please link to the post and not your blog). 

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Lately when we go to church, instead of going to her Sunday School room, Izzy wants to go with us to sing in the “Visionary” aka Sanctuary.  She enjoys singing with us as well and the church members.  She also enjoys staying for the Children’s Moment (where they all sit at the front of the church with the pastor and get a miniature, kid friendly sermon). 

If you haven’t been to a Children’s Moment, it has the potential to be quite amusing.  A large bunch of kids, and one adult asking questions.  You can imagine.

This Sunday, Mother’s Day of all days, Isabelle was super excited.  She ran up to the front and sat right next to Ms. Susan* 

Ms. Susan started her lesson with a bird’s nest and started talking about all of the work the mommy bird did to make the next to take care of her babies.  It was then that Izzy made a noise.  I don’t remember what, but an “oh” or something like that.

It was right then that Mr. Serious and I looked at each other.  “Izzy’s mic’d.”  Oh, no.  Please don’t say or do anything embarrassing.  Dear God, everybody in the church is watching. 

Ms. Susan asked the kids what their mommies to do show them that they love them.

“When I throw up…”

Oh, no.  I’m stunned, and laughing.  Tears are welling up in my eyes.  She went there, didn’t she?  Everybody is looking our direction and giving us a look.  The one that is sympathetic yet appreciative that it’s not their kid.

Ms. Susan is looking intently at Izzy, giving her the “finish your thoughts look.”

“Ummm…..a…ummmm….ummmmmm”

“It’s okay, honey, what does your mommy do?”

“Um.  She takes me to the bathroom, and puts me in the bathtub and washes me off,” so matter-of-factly.  With perfect inflections in her voice.  Like, how did you not know what my mommy does when I throw up?

“Yes, dear, that’s an excellent example of your mommy showing you how she loves you.  She cleans you up and takes care of you when you are sick.” 

And, then the sermon was pretty much over, and Izzy ran over to me and gave me a kiss on the cheek and when off to Sunday School.

*name changed to protect the innocent

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Being on the budget, our clothes have definitely seen better days.  In fact, I’ve shown you my “chemist jeans.”

So the other morning, when I was ready to walk out the door with the girls to go to work, my sweet baby girl caught my attention.  Her face was a little too red and her eyes a little too watery.  I knew what that meant.

I wrangled her upstairs to quickly change her diaper.  Anybody that has or had an 18 month old knows what an ordeal that can be.  Especially about 15 minutes after the last diaper change.

So, I was trying to entertain her and distract her.  She wasn’t having it.  She got upset about my entertaining, which means it wasn’t so entertaining, and kicked or threw something on the floor.

I finished her up, got her dressed, picked her up and bent over to pick up said item off the floor.  As I was bending, I heard a giant “rrriiippp” noise (no, not that kind of noise).

For a brief second, I thought I would ignore it.

Thank goodness I didn’t.  I had the sense to walk into the girls bathroom. 

I walked in, turned around and looked in the mirror.

And saw my stripy undies looking right back at me.  With the length of one back pocket entirely ripped down, a full cheek’s width exposed.  (Let me add here that it wasn’t because these jeans were too small; in fact, they were quite loose and warn thin.  Apparently, really thin.) 

That’s when I decided that I’ve never been more thankful for a poopy diaper.

Why?  Guaranteed, I would have bent over at work approximately 1 hour later.

In front of 32 teenagers. 

Who would have seen everything.

Including my blue stripy undies.

Thank you sweetheart for pooping that morning.

Thank you.

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Today our photocopier broke.

That happens at least once a day.

While I was waiting for it to cool down, I took some of the bad copies it made and threw them in the shredder. 

What?  You don’t do silly, kid-like things when you are frustrated.

So, as I’m standing there listening to the paper being made into little strips, I notice the pictures underneath the slot.  I guess these are supposed to be universal directions as there aren’t words, just pictures (sort of like putting Ikea furniture together)…I digress.

See, little directions, or maybe warnings.

As I’m standing there, I look away, and then my brain registers what I just saw on the end.

Look again.

Second to the last?

No babies without clothes but in diapers should go into the shredder?

Does that mean clothed babies are okay?  Well, I guess as long as they don’t have on gloves, a tie or a ponytail in, they are okay (at least according to the pictures).

You know the sad thing is that somebody likely did that first**, before they added the warning.  Because who seriously thinks to put a picture of baby as a “no” for a paper shredder?

*crappy pictures taken with my crappy cell phone.

** ETA: I think and hope that this label is really a poor choice for something that means kids shouldn’t use it, and certainly doesn’t mean that they think people would put a baby in a paper shredder…because that isn’t funny and ruins the humorous spirit of my post.

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Lately, when Iz starts whining and throwing a fit, I remind her that babies do that because they can’t talk.  She can use words and communicate.

If she continues, I remind her that babies sleep in cribs.  I threaten her with putting her in a crib like her sister.

Crap.

Apparently, she doesn’t think cribs are bad.

“What’s the big deal?  So what if I climbed in here with my sister?”

{This particular morning, Izzy heard Nat awake and walked into her room.  By the time we got in there, she had climbed in.  I have no idea how she did it, and to be honest, I really don’t want to know.  I hope her sister wasn’t watching, though.}

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I had a coupon for some free panties from Victoria’s Secret.  So I got some.

They are supposed to be those no-panty line, low rise kind.  I think they are the Body line.  Smooth.  No seams.  Nice looking.

But.

Why do they not stay down on my cheeks?  If they stayed down, I could see how they would prevent panty lines.

But the current arrangement?  Not so much.  If I wanted a thong, I would have purchased one.

Now, they are all bunched up, not arranged properly and, I’m sure causing major lines.  Plus, they are in a state of constantly needing to be rearranged.

So, what am I doing wrong?  I don’t think I’ve ever purchased a pair of $12 panties before.  Why do they keep creeping up?  And not staying down.

Help,

The woman with her panties in a bunch….literally.

PS I’m sure you didn’t want to know all this…but seriously, these aren’t comfortable.

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My students recently told me that I look like Drew Barrymore.

What?

You don’t see the resemblance?

In fact, they started addressing me as “Drew.”

Nice, right?

So, Ms. Barrymore would have to play me in a movie, right?  And, if not be me, then she could direct my story, my poignant parenting moment? 

My debut parenting story on the screen?

Daddy is out of town on business.  Mommy has both girls to herself.  Mommy got both kids ready for school and dropped them off, worked the whole day, picked them up, and then cooked dinner.  Only for the kids to not really eat.  Then, mommy bathed the kids and got them ready for bed.  

The youngest kiddo (approximately 16 months old) is ready for bed first.  Jammies on and teeth brushed, it’s time for a book.  The oldest (oh, I don’t know, around 3), wants to read, too.

We get the book out and read.  It goes well.

The oldest is asked to turn out the light, close the door and brush her teeth while mommy sings a song to the youngest.

She decides the cat should leave the room, too.  She turns to the cat and says “leave Sassy.” 

The cat doesn’t. budge.

She says “come on, Sassy” and walks out the room, hoping the cat follows.  Nope.  Nada.

This repeats about 3 more times.  Shuffling her feet, trying a little click-click noise with her tongue to “call” the cat.  Still nothing.

She then walks back in and gentle taps the cat and says “come on, let’s go.”  Surprise?  Nothing again.  She is exasperated at this point and says “oh, it’s not working.”

All this time, I’m trying to sing to the youngest without dying from laughter.  The oldest is trying so hard to get our stubborn cat out of the room, but she won’t pick her up, or really touch her.

I finally said “it’s okay, mommy will get her out” and then the oldest left.

Wow…I’m pretty sure this isn’t nearly as funny as me telling it in person.  So, just imagine a stubborn, trying to be helpful three year old getting worked up about the cat not leaving.  And, a mommy thinking it is so funny that she can’t help.  And, then imagine that the mommy is Drew Barrymore.  That makes is better, right?

Hyundai and Glamour Magazine, along with JuiceBoxJungle, are sponsoring me to write about a poignant parenting moment with hopes that a big A-List Hollywood star will direct it on the big screen, like this short film Kate Hudson did with Glamour Reel Moments. You can enter too at http://glamalert.com/reelmoments/ !

{image from palzoo.com}

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Or, your silly smile.

You know, your choice.  Whatever, babe. 

I’m just the crazy mom with the camera here.

Carry on.

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