When the kids get home from school or picked up from school, they aren’t very chatty. They aren’t ready to talk about the day yet as they are still processing everything. And I don’t push. Nothing is worse then being grilled and asked a million questions (“what’s for dinner, mom!”) when you aren’t wanting to have a conversation.
So, we let them wait until they are ready. Sometimes that means they start telling us things as the day builds on. Other times they need a little prompting at dinner time when they are typically ready to talk. It also helps when daddy gets home. For some reason, they just talk more about their day with him. Daddy can ask the exact same question and get a response when I get nothing!
We tried to go beyond the basic “what did you learn today?” or “how was school?” because they didn’t elicit the responses/conversations we were looking for. And, they weren’t things that were easy to apply to the adults (yes, we try to learn everyday, but making it relatable to the kiddos isn’t always easy).
However, after some lessons at Sunday school and conversations with friends, we came up with a couple conversations initiators.
We like to call it high point/low point. And there are a few rules.
- Everybody has to have at least one high point and one low point.
- A high point is anything you deemed good or positive in the day that applies to you.
- A low point is anything you deemed bad or negative or just didn’t like that applies to you (after some discussion, we added the “you” part because we weren’t interested in hearing about what “Bobby” did on the outside playground.”
- You can have more than one high point or low point, but you have to have an equal number of both of them. (So, if you have 2 low points, you have to have 2 high points. If you have 3 high points, you have to have 3 low points to bring to the conversation.)
We’ve found that this brings out way more conversation than just the basic and typical questions. Plus, it involves everybody in the family and we all get to share about our very different days (I even help the 2 year old, E with hers!)
Then, after attending the Mom 2.0 Summit and hearing @DrRobyn during the keynote session sponsored by Dove, we added another question.
— Krystyn (@SeriousKrystyn) May 2, 2014
What has your beautiful body done for you?
Dr. Robyn discussed with us that we are overly emphasizing physical features and that all of all of our bodies are beautiful. We need to focus on what out body did for us and how it allowed us to achieve our goals for the day.