I have a confession to make

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We’ve been married for eight years now. Sort of hard to believe…well, not really, but it seems like just yesterday.

And, today, we’ve been officially together for 14 years. Pretty much almost half of our lives. I can’t imagine it any other way. And, for the record, I did make him “make it official” and ask me to be his girlfriend. I’m old-fashioned like that. (Yes, we are high school sweethearts, and college sweethearts, and graduate school sweethearts!)

A little Serious history:

(top left to right: prom, high school graduation, my 21st birthday)

(middle: Christmas.  Not sure if it was our first or second together)

(bottom left to right: Toga party. College graduation, my mom and Joe’s wedding (1999))

serious history

(our moms put this together along with two other frames that were displayed at our wedding)

I honestly have no idea of the year, but it was some time in college, maybe our 2001 “anniversary.”  Mr. Serious got me an anniversary band.  A simple, white gold ring with a channel of diamonds in it. Pretty much the nicest thing to that date he had bought me.  It was pretty much perfect. And, to be clear, it wasn’t a “promise ring.” It was just a ring that was a gift. I think I wore it on my right hand then. Honestly, I don’t remember.

Cut to about two years later. Mr. Serious presented me with a gorgeous engagement ring. I think it’s safe to say you all know the answer was “yes.” We were still in college (graduating in a month).

We moved to Atlanta, after a two week time with our parents; during which we planned. We picked the date, location, got a dress and everything else. We picked December 20th.

During our time in Atlanta, we bought wedding rings for each other. I was working as a graduate student and Mr. Serious was working as a paralegal. Safe to say we were less than rich, and still very frugal. I also wanted something simple for both of us (he definitely wanted simple) and either the same band or something similar. After trying some on, the same band wasn’t an option (they didn’t look good on both of us). So, we found some that matched. Mine was a little more feminine (and a lot cheaper, like less than $100), and his more masculine and heavy (and a lot more expensive).

Here’s the ring we purchased for me.

the wedding band.JPG

And, now the confession.

Notice, it’s not on my ring finger.  It’s not really on my finger at all.

Why? Well, it’s not comfortable at all. Turns out it’s not a “comfort fit” ring. The inside is almost sharp and was irritating my finger. I wore it for a while. Until I was pregnant with #1. I didn’t really swell, but it hurt even more on my finger. I had to find something. I already looked young. I didn’t want any judgmental glances looking young and unwed. I wanted something to wear as a wedding band.

And, I had my “a-ha” moment. I pulled out that anniversary band (or maybe I took it off my other finger, I really don’t remember), put it under my engagement ring and I was ready to go. Yeah, the engagement ring is princess cut (square) and the diamonds in the band are round but it works, right? It’s what I wear now (yes, this picture was just snapped).

the rings.JPG

And, honestly, I don’t even think of it as anything other than my wedding band. If I gesture towards my hand or refer to my wedding band, it’s automatically this one. And, then it dawns on me, I’m not even wearing my wedding band. It’s tucked into my jewelry box. Out of sight, out of mind.

My name is Krystyn, and I don’t wear my wedding band. Scandalous, right?

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36 Comments

  1. I don’t wear mine either. My wedding bands were two super thin, super plain white gold bands costing a whopping $45 each! I got (what I consider) “real” wedding bands about three years ago. I only keep the other ones because they are engraved.

    1. That’s about how much my ring cost, too. Hubby said he looked into replacing it, but I don’t even know what I would get.

  2. This is so cute! I have always admired couples who’ve been together from the get go, you know like since highschool or something?!

    I love your photo collage too!

    1. Thanks, hon. I almost felt guilty after posting this and thought about wearing it…and then I remembered how uncomfortable it was…then the sense came back. Back in the jewelry box it goes.

  3. I don’t wear mine either- Ha! My dad passed away a few years after we were married and I inherited the beautiful center stone from his wedding ring. My husband had the stone placed in a birthstone ring from my jewelry box, one that my parents had given me while I was in high school, and took two of the rubies from my original wedding set and had them added. It’s all one ring, no bands of any kind! 🙂

  4. grandma Pat says:

    I never noticed you don’t wear your wedding band any more. I think if the other band was given out of love then it should work. Maybe if you ever renew your vows you can use the diamond band you are wearing now and it will be officially a wedding band.

    1. Thanks, Jen! I’m glad we have the collages, too! I was very impressed the moms came together and did those for us.

  5. Grammy Lura says:

    I think that was the perfect solution. Smart Girl! How are you and little miss doing? I am praying for you. Hugs, Grammy

    1. Thanks, Grammy! I’m glad I had a good working solution.

      We’re doing well….I’m more ready for her to come out than she is, apparently.

  6. I love that your ring has so much meaning to it!

    1. Thanks, Shell. I was glad to have a good substitute that works for us.

  7. That’s the exact ring that I have on my left hand that I got as a surrogate. It’s a reminder to me everyday that I was part of this circle of life. I love it too.

    My husband doesn’t wear his wedding band either. He tells me he has skinny fingers to wear the one we picked out. It’s a shame, it’s a beautiful ring. He’s scandalous too 🙂

    1. Mr. Serious has pretty skinny fingers, too, but his looks great (and ti’s pretty big..but still simple, just thicker with another band of design than mine)…your husband is scandalous, isn’t he?

  8. Such a cute story! I’m happy to hear of another high school sweetheart story. In February Chris and I will be together for seven years, whenever we tell people they think we are some weird extinct kind of people for being involved since we were so young!

    1. Oh, we totally get comments like that. And, when we went off to Atlanta together, people said “oh, you’ll never make it!” Thanks for the optimism.

      Honestly, it’s almost as if you are extinct being together for 7 years….regardless of age:)

  9. so scandalous!! seriously why do they even make/sell rings that aren’t comfort fit?? soooo lame!!

    1. You know, the husband just told me he looked into getting it replaced and that they don’t make women’s rings “comfort fit.” WTH! Sounds like a man’s jewelry world to me…pretty stupid.

  10. Mr. Serious says:

    I actually looked into getting a comfort fit replacement ring, but was told by a jewelry store that they don’t make those for women… dumb. But, since K is so smart and resourceful it’s not an issue.

    1. Glad you think I’m smart and resourceful…one of the perks of me:)

  11. Ha Ha! I love this because I don’t usually wear mine either! Tim gave me an “upgrade” ring for our 10th anniversary and I wear that now. And it kinda looks like an engagement ring since I don’t wear a band with it. People probably think I’m running around with 3 kids and am not married yet. ;P

    p.s. love those old school photos and that you wear the band he gave you years ago. So much meaning. 🙂

    1. I bet it doesn’t look like an engagement ring. Many people have the “upgrade” one ring version (you should see my grandma’s…it’s gorgeous!).

      Yeah, we’re all about the meaning around here:)

    1. Thanks! We are very lucky to have found each other so early.

  12. LOL – you are so bad! But yeah, I don’t wear my engagement ring. To be honest it’s set too high and it bugs me. Every one in a while M will be like “hey, remember that nice ring I bought you…” and then I wear it for a few days before taking it off!

    1. Oh, sooo bad! There was a while where I wasn’t wearing my engagement ring….but I really like it:)

      That’s nice that you put it on for him every once and a while.

  13. I don’t wear mine either and I don’t think its something to feel terribly guilty about.

  14. Ha! I don’t wear my wedding band either well technically I don’t have one. We couldn’t find one before the wedding that really matched my engagement ring, so we got a super super cheap one for the ceremony and pictures. Well I accidentally dropped that one in the sink and when he got it out the “stones” had fallen out. He keeps asking me when I’m going to pick a permanent one, but I’m so not a jewelry girl and I’m content with only wearing my engagement ring. Not to mention I don’t wear it around the house often because I’m always washing my hands and changing diapers. I guess I’ll pick one out soon before he starts fussing again.

    1. Funny how it’s something that we were probably so concerned with a while ago and now couldn’t give a rat’s behind about it, right?

      I try to wear something every day, but there are days I forget (I can’t sleep in my rings, either).

  15. You know, I rarely wear my ring either. But I guess I get a pass because my husband doesn’t wear his! 😉

    And I think you and I have the same rings! Except I have a second band of diamonds that goes on top of my engagement ring.

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