So, I’m going to try out this Mama Losin’ It Writer’s Prompt. I’m hoping a writing tutor isn’t in order, but I’m a chemist after all! So, let me down gently.
And, the prompt I’ve chosen:
10 reasons why you could not be a real housewife from any county.
Wait. I think I need to rethink this. This means “real housewife” like the women on the show with a gazillion dollars and drivers and stuff like that, doesn’t it? See, I don’t even watch the show. But, maybe it means a real housewife, like in the old fashioned sense? Like “honey, I’m home” and “dinner’s ready, here’s your martini?”
Crap. Now, I don’t even know what to write about.
So, I’ve decided. I’m going with the first option. Even though, I have no idea what the show is really like, or even the housewives, I’ll pretend.
1. I hate blow drying my hair. On second thought, maybe this does make me a wanna be housewife. Don’t rich people get their hair styled and dried all the time?
2. I’m not a fan of makeup. Well, not the glamourous type. You know, just enough so I don’t look like I just rolled out of bed. But not the eyelash extensions, tattoo eyeliner type.
3. I have terrible balance in flats and tennis shoes, let alone heels. Just imagine me wobbling around and falling on my bootay.
4. I’m not big on the bling. Like wedding ring, maybe stud earrings and sometimes a necklace. Then again, I did wear nicer earrings today and felt a little fancier.
5. Maybe this should be #1, but I’m too lazy to edit and move things around. But, we have a tight, cash-only budget. Like super tight. And, I wouldn’t be all about buying a fancy car or decorations for my home.
6. I’m a pretty simple person. Let’s just keep it real. No going to fancy dinners. No knowing famous people. No smoozing (see, can’t even spell that word) with the big guys. But, I was on TV!
7. I’ll wear a bikini at 30, but it’s me, all natural, no plastic parts, or parts removed.
8. I’m not married to an NFL player, a rock star, a bar owner, a company owner or anything like that. Pretty typical, over-worked, under-paid hubby here.
9. I don’t have twins. Well, is this a housewife thing? I have no idea. Just seems like all of the rich and famous people are having twins lately.
10. Ten. This should be easy. Ten. Hmmmm…thinking. Thinking. Okay, got it. I’m not good at spending money on myself. Like at all. Like no new shoes, no new clothes, not new jewelry, just not good at it. So, I guess this could be #11, but I don’t have a fashion sense at all.
Pretty much in nutshell, I think that sums it up. I’m so not cut out to be a housewife from any county. And, pretty sure I would be a terrible housewife in the 1950s sense of it, too.