I’m not a writer, but I’ll fake it ’till I make it.
So, I’m going to try out this Mama Losin’ It Writer’s Prompt.  I’m hoping a writing tutor isn’t in order, but I’m a chemist after all!  So, let me down gently.
And, the prompt I’ve chosen:
10 reasons why you could not be a real housewife from any county.
Wait. Â I think I need to rethink this. Â This means “real housewife” like the women on the show with a gazillion dollars and drivers and stuff like that, doesn’t it? Â See, I don’t even watch the show. Â But, maybe it means a real housewife, like in the old fashioned sense? Â Like “honey, I’m home” and “dinner’s ready, here’s your martini?”
Crap. Â Now, I don’t even know what to write about.
So, I’ve decided. Â I’m going with the first option. Â Even though, I have no idea what the show is really like, or even the housewives, I’ll pretend.
1. Â I hate blow drying my hair. Â On second thought, maybe this does make me a wanna be housewife. Â Don’t rich people get their hair styled and dried all the time?
2. Â I’m not a fan of makeup. Â Well, not the glamourous type. Â You know, just enough so I don’t look like I just rolled out of bed. Â But not the eyelash extensions, tattoo eyeliner type.
3. Â I have terrible balance in flats and tennis shoes, let alone heels. Â Just imagine me wobbling around and falling on my bootay.
4. Â I’m not big on the bling. Â Like wedding ring, maybe stud earrings and sometimes a necklace. Â Then again, I did wear nicer earrings today and felt a little fancier.
5. Â Maybe this should be #1, but I’m too lazy to edit and move things around. Â But, we have a tight, cash-only budget. Â Like super tight. Â And, I wouldn’t be all about buying a fancy car or decorations for my home.
6. Â I’m a pretty simple person. Â Let’s just keep it real. Â No going to fancy dinners. Â No knowing famous people. Â No smoozing (see, can’t even spell that word) with the big guys. Â But, I was on TV!
7. Â I’ll wear a bikini at 30, but it’s me, all natural, no plastic parts, or parts removed.
8. Â I’m not married to an NFL player, a rock star, a bar owner, a company owner or anything like that. Â Pretty typical, over-worked, under-paid hubby here.
9. Â I don’t have twins. Â Well, is this a housewife thing? Â I have no idea. Â Just seems like all of the rich and famous people are having twins lately.
10. Â Ten. Â This should be easy. Â Ten. Â Hmmmm…thinking. Â Thinking. Â Okay, got it. Â I’m not good at spending money on myself. Â Like at all. Â Like no new shoes, no new clothes, not new jewelry, just not good at it. Â So, I guess this could be #11, but I don’t have a fashion sense at all.
Pretty much in nutshell, I think that sums it up. Â I’m so not cut out to be a housewife from any county. Â And, pretty sure I would be a terrible housewife in the 1950s sense of it, too.
Lets not forget…..no nannies, maids, drivers etc!!
Ahhh…yes, none of those, either!
You’re whole thing is awesome! But I’m pretty sure to qualify for “real housewife” means having a ton of $$ that you don’t need and/or know what to do w/. Actually, maybe not…I think it’s really more pretending you do and then filing for bankrupcy later. Yeah, not good.
And I love that you used the word bootay. That word just can’t be used enough.
Yes, clearly I’m not in the ton of money don’t know what to do with it category! And, I’m not good at pretending I have money, either.
Can’t go wrong with bootay!
this made me giggle.
Not bad for having not watched! It made me smile knowing I’m NOT alone!
Keep up the great writing! 🙂
Thanks, Phyllis…I guess I’ve heard enough about the show to have an idea!
Since I have never seen the show, I went with option 2 and wrote about real life, old fashioned housewives. But on a side note, I have twins and I’m not rich and famous, then again, maybe that’s because mine are natural not drug induced…
Oh, I hope I didn’t imply that they were the only ones…it just seems like that’s all they are having.
Off to read your list.
And, yeah, I’ve never seen it either. I think it would drive me nuts.
Yup, you could never cut it as a “real housewife.” You are too down-to-earth, sane, natural, and lovely!
That’s Kristy. Sounds like I’m pretty much the polar opposite of them!
For someone who doesn’t watch the shows, you’ve pretty much nailed them!
Man…I don’t know if that’s good or bad!
If you were on the Real Housewives you wouldn’t have to worry about your hair or your makeup. You would pay people to do that for you.
But of course…I would love that!
I always feel terribly guilty when I HAVE to buy myself something like shoes or a new nice shirt.I could never go on shopping sprees like they do for themselves
I’m in the same boat. And, yet, when they need shoes, it’s not a problem!
you did pretty good for not watching the show. Good for you… it can become and addiction. Not that I would know. 😉
Yes, clearly you have no idea:)
I just checked out the Mama’ Kat’s writer’s workshop and it’s pretty cool. Thanks for letting us know about it, and seriously, people with that much plastic surgery just look like aliens.