The passive aggressive one
*yes, open letters are passive aggressive. I don’t know this lady. And, I was so dumb-founded, I couldn’t even muster a response!*
Dear Self-Proclaimed Nosey Grandma-
Saturday was a nice day. A day our entire family of five managed to get out of the house successfully and make it to our oldest’s soccer game on time.
The youngest is only 10 weeks old. She has a serious dislike for her carseat and I have a serious like of wearing her. (Yes, she likes it, too!)
So, we arrived, I put on my moby wrap, wrapped her up and off we went to watch the game.
Around half time, I got a little antsy (the little one likes to keep moving), so I started walking around and headed over to another adjoining field. As I was walking back, you walked up to me, and quite frankly caught me by surprise.
You came up to me and said “I’m a grandma. My daughter says I’m nosey.”
Okay, I think. This nice woman is going to ask to see my baby or inquire about the device in which I’m wearing her.
Nope. Couldn’t have been more wrong.
You asked me “is your baby okay?”
Even with my rocking aviators, I know my face must have said a lot because I had no idea what you were talking about.
I said “yes.” And, you asked me “can you baby breath in there? There is a baby in there, right? I’m worried he’ll suffocate.”
I said “yes, she can breath, she’s fine” and walked away.
As I was walking I was shaking my head at you. Do you seriously think I’m going to suffocate my child? (And, by the way, you can’t see but her face is showing on the other side, I wrapped the top because she kept leaning back.)
And, not only that, but you question my parenting to my face? Bold, I have to say.
I appreciate that you have a concern, but, I’m clearly thinking. I’ve got my daughter’s skin covered so she doesn’t get a sunburn, I’m using an umbrella. And for the love of all things parenting, she’s on my chest, I can feel her breathing!
Next time, please listen to your daughter. She was right to say you were nosey and suggest you not come question me.
(Just in case you are friends with the grandma at the High. Let her know that no, my baby won’t fall out of this either.)
I’ve managed to keep my 5.5 and 3.5 year olds alive and thriving…I’ve got this one, too.
Signed,
The woman that loves her baby and would never do anything to hurt her. We had to work way too hard to get her here.
O_o people need to mind their own business. My child so I do what I want with your child you can do what you want. And I especially hate when they question me after I have raised one already. You handled it well.
Thanks, I was seriously shaking my head…what gives people the courage (although, I think my grandma would have done the same thing!)
oh for the love of nosey grandmas!!
she must not have any grand children the age of E or she would know the wrap is the way to go. I think you defiinately look rockin and I commend you for getting the whole family out the door for the game. Good job Momma.
Thanks! But, you know grandma would have done the exact same thing!
It really does amaze me, not only the gall of people to be so rude because oh yes I’ve been there! but also – how do people not understand babywearing? Women have been babywearing for centuries! The moby wraps especially are like the old standard. YES they work! Yes the kid can breathe! Come on now!
That’s exactly what I was thinking. I guess you can’t baby wear if it’s hot outside…oh, wait, people used to only be outside and in some places still are…frustrating.
Love it!!!
And I love the Moby. I am still ecstatic that you got it working for you. I rocked the Moby until she was about 6 months old.
I’m so glad, too! I’m wondering if I’ll make it to 6 months with this tank…she’s so heavy and her neck is so strong..I’m thinking once she can hold it up, she’s going into the Ergo (it’s really hot to wear her with the infant insert).
I haven’t worn the moby since August, and only then because Josh wore Audrey in the Mai Tai. Otherwise the Mai Tai is my go-to carrier.
In theory you can hip carry in the moby, but I haven’t figured it out yet. I should; Annie’s getting heavy and likes hip carry.
Well that shows how awesome it is that you and other mamas are wearing their babies — so people will get used to the idea and realize eventually that it’s perfectly safe and awesomely cool!
(Did I just use the word awesome twice? Sorry….)
Well, it must be really awesome..or I am, or both:)
What did people do like 40 years ago? strollers only? because those are soo cool!
Sometimes people should be slapped for what they let come out of their mouths.
I have a feeling you might have had a really itchy palm, too! Did you ever wear your triplets? I know one momma friend that wore two at a time….I don’t know if I’m skilled enough for that!
I did not wear the triplets like people wear their babies today but I did have a pack that I would put one of them in if one of them wasn’t content in a swing or bouncy seat so that I could make dinner or empty the dishwasher. I also used to put two babies in a stroller and wear one on my back when we would do out for walks. It was exhausting but worked. 🙂
And, we all do whatever works:)
Wow. I wear my daughter everywhere and some people do look at me like I’m crazy, but I’ve never had anything like this happen.
I think I have a sign that says come bring your crazy over to me!
Ha! Nosey people really irk me. I bet she is the same woman who would ask a non pregnant woman when she was due. Or when a newly married couple is gonna finally have kids. UGH. So annoying.
Oh, she totally would have been that woman!
I know where you are coming from. I have had all kinds of comments on my parenting. I find sometimes people just ask questions because they don’t understand modern parenting techniques. I am usually just polite and then laugh it off later.
Yes, I did have a good laugh with my husband…
oh.my
OMG… I cannot imagine someone having that much nerve. You responded much nicer than I would have by the way.
Sometimes, I’m on my A-game and I can be polite..she caught me at a good time!
I’ve gotten lots of comments myself when wearing little ones in my Peanut Shell. Most are positive and mothers will ask where they can get one, but others seem to think I’m putting my childrens’ lives at risk. People must not realize how their words come across. When they say “can your baby breathe in there?” I think they feel they are being kind and helping a young or naive mom out. But to the mother it sounds like this “Are you comfortable with putting your baby’s life at risk?”
I also get LOTS of comments when I go out in public with my 5 children and much of it borders on rude and thoughtless.
Please, think before speak!
You hit the nail on the head…people totally don’t think.
People say rude and thoughtless things to me about having three kids “oh, your hands are full!” I really don’t even know what that means.
I’ve taken to responding “we are very blessed!” That usually catches them off guard and they realize that maybe what they said wasn’t really on base. (And, I say it very nicely, too!)
Krystyn, thanks for your reply! And I love the response “we are very blessed.” It’s so positive, who can argue? I recently blogged about my favorite comebacks and thought you might get a laugh from this. Feel free to steal some! lol
http://www.zephyrhillblog.com/2012/04/big-families-are-they-all-yours-some-snappy-comebacks/
Going to read them now…you should see my responses to them all being girls (are you trying for a boy??? In front of my kids). And, to them having red hair.