With our first daughter, people were happy it was a girl, followed immediately by “are you going to try for a boy?” I mean literally, still getting stitches and people asked. With the second, it was a little more hesitantly asked, but still “are you going to try for a boy?” Yes, even after the third and the fourth. People.Still.Ask.
Apparently, it is upsetting to other people that we only have girls. Apparently we need a boy.
And, nobody is really nice about it, either. In fact, often times asking in from front of the girls about having all girls. Because girls aren’t awesome?
I just sat and had a discussion and can’t come up with one legitimate thing that a man can do that a woman cannot. And, women? Can give birth to babies, so there. Awesome!
This is the short list of things people have said to me, or my husband or both of us. And, we would really be quite okay with never being asked them again, especially not in front of our awesome girls. The girls, of course, have started to answer for us, too because they are “so over it, mom!”
1. So, are you going to try for a boy?
The only people allowed to discuss the state of my uterus and it’s inhabitants are my husband and my midwives. This totally tells me and my girls that they aren’t good enough. Only a boy would be good enough.
2. Are you done?
Done? Done with what? Having children? Why? Because I can’t be done until I have a boy?
3. I feel sorry for you.
And I feel sorry for you! What is to feel sorry about? I have awesome girls. They can do anything a son can do. Do not feel sorry for me!
4. Be ready to be broke.
And usually a list of things follows like weddings and proms and dances, etc. I’d venture to guess that my mom friends of boys will tell me that they are equally expensive. Yes, life is expensive. People are expensive. I don’t plan to be broke because we have and will continue to plan well for our future and theirs.
5. That’s a lot of weddings.
And, what a blessing they will be!
6. Are they all yours?
We seem to get this one a lot about our red heads, too. I suppose they could be friends, but they all look alike. Last time I checked, you can’t pick up small children on aisle 9 at the grocery store. Well, since we have 4, maybe it would be at a bulk store?
7. Hahahahaha / LOL / rolling on the floor…
Yes. Laughing. In our faces. What is funny? It’s really appreciated when you literally count the girls out loud in front of them and continue to laugh. Or even say it “wow, all girls :snicker: “.
8. Oh, I bet the teenage years are going to be fun in your house. ::hormones::
I taught high school for 6 years. All teenagers are hormonal. Trust me!
9. Do you have your gun ready?
What is this gun for? Shooting? Pointing? At my daughter? At a boy?
10. Sigh…you have all girls!
Seriously? Really? Oh my goodness. Thank you so much for telling me. I had no idea!
Let’s stop feeling like we have to say something about the state of another person’s family. A simple “you are blessed” or “you are lucky” carries so much weight. Thinking you are funny or original with a comment like the above? Well, you aren’t. We’ve heard them all!
I know my fellow girl moms and all boy moms get very similar comments, what’s your “favorite?”
Krystyn has been blogging since 2005. She is a sarcasm-loving, straight-shooting, jeans and t-shirts wearing, wife and mom of four girls (ages 14, 12, 9 and 7). She blogs about life as a mom and wife and includes funny stories, family travel, fitness, recipes, STEM and more. She currently resides in the Atlanta, Georgia suburbs.
Meghan @Jamonkey says
Omg yes! I get all these and I only have two girls. Everyone has an opinion. Too bad it’s the modern world and they don’t realize that it’s unwanted. I’m done, I LOVE have girls and wouldn’t know what to do with boys. That and my husband probably has some built up boy karma from his childhood. No thanks.
Richard Hicks says
I will keep these things in mind!
Sarah L says
People can be so clueless. I think it’s great that you have your girls!
Nancy says
Krystin, this is so true, everyone told me they felt sorry for me when we found out our 3rd was a girl, and I was terrified because everyone was terrified for me!!!
pat chance says
girls are the best
Katherine G says
Okay I’ll admit I’ve said the gun thing. Not to you but others. That’s my response because the girls are so pretty. I plan on being prepared when my daughter is officially dating. The other things are so horrible. Especially saying such ignorant things in front of the girls. I don’t know how I would react to that. I highly doubt I would have a nice response though.
Nicole Estrella says
I find it more fun to come back with a quick witted stop them in their tracks answer.
scrappysue says
you forgot “oh your POOR husband!!!” NOT!!!
Krystyn says
Ack…you are soooo right. How did I forget that one? Ugh. Like he would have it any other way!
Michelle says
Oh my gosh, as a mom of 4 BOYS, I totally get this. I’ve had people say in front of my kids, “But aren’t you SAD you never had a DAUGHTER?” And I’m like, you realize my sons can hear, right? Argh. Drives me insane!
Emily @Random Recyclingq says
Silly people…like you haven’t already thought these things a hundred times. They just forget they shouldn’t say them aloud. Great recap!
Annie {Stowed Stuff} says
I used to go out everywhere with my besties growing up who were all girls (3 of them). Everywhere we went, the parents would be asked, “are they all yours?” I was the tack on 4th girl friend. I don’t think there’s any way of ending it! People love to talk!
Kendra says
I am guilty of saying “that’s a lot of hair” but I get enough myself as a boy mom. I think any healthy children are a blessing. I’m just glad that I have two!
Tamara @ We3Travel says
I only have one (and that gets all kinds of questions too) but I was thrilled to have a girl. Girls are awesome!!
Galit Breen says
Ah– love this so much!!
Kat says
Oh yes. I know this well. Except for boys, obviously.
I guess people aren’t happy unless you have at least one of each gender. ??
I remember when I was in the hospital right after Ben was born and the nurse found out that he was my third boy. She said, “Oh. Are you disappointed?” I wanted to bash her face. What a moron.
Some people are just dumb. That’s all there is to it.
A check out lady at Walmart saw me approaching her line with my three boys and my big pregnant belly and she just said to me, “You’re crazy!” really loudly. I swear it took everything in me not to call a manager over.
Kids are a blessing. Girl. Boy. Blessing.
You have a gorgeous family!
Leticia Barr says
Oh my goodness! As a mom of a boy and a girl, that’s crazy that people say such things to you with all girls! You need a guest post from a mom with all boys to provide the alternate perspective so everyone can keep in mind what not to say with parents of all boys and all girls and exercise common courtesy!
Diana @ Nanny to Mommy says
As soon as my daughter was born people were asking us when we were going to try for another one and if we were going to try for a boy. REALLY?! Girls are awesome!
Ed Tuttle says
I’m the father of 4 women (29, 25, 18, 16). I love my girls. Never tried for a boy. Never disappointed I had no boys. Has there been drama? Yes. Have I ever wished for anything different? No way. Do I care what others think or say? Nope… ’cause we’ve all opened our mouths one time or another before thinking. Life’s too short to be offended.
Donna says
I literally was told by a laughing family member that my husband just didn’t know how, “to put the stem on the apple.”
Krystyn says
Oh goodness!
Sarah Brady says
I know exactly what you mean. My mother is the 3rd of 4 girls. I have 2 younger sisters, we each have 3 girls ( plus I have the only boy). My favorite comment when I go out with all mine (5yr girl, 3yr twin girls, 2 yr boy), “You know what causes that, right?” I just respond with what my grandfather says, “I kept forgetting that you’re not supposed to eat the wrapper and throw away the contents!” Usually shuts them up or they double over laughing. When what I really want to do is throat punch them and say, “My sex life is none of your concern!”
Krystyn says
That’s exactly what I want to say, too! My sister is about to have her second daughter, too. I can’t wait to go places with all 6 girls!
Alma says
I found this blog linked thru another blog I follow. Although I have all boys I was tempted to read this list. I have to say that with the exception of the gun thing I have heard every single thing on this list about my boys. Oh, and the pity is directed at me instead of my husband. 😉 People still ask us if we are going to try for a girl…because the next one MUST be a girl.
Krystyn says
That one is up there as a favorite for sure. Because you definitely get to pick with number 5, right? I have a couple friends that have all boys and they tell me they get the same all the time, too!
Nadine says
Oh my, i can relate in every way.. to all these comments and more… i recently had a baby, another beautiful girl… my first is 15 , then 13 and an 8 month old.. it took so long for me to fall pregnant again…. that during my last pregnancy i was constantly anxious because everyone i met made me feel less than when all they would do is discuss the sex of the baby, telling me it was for sure a boy this time.. when all i wanted to do was enjoy my pregnancy and love my blessing..
Krystyn says
Oh, I’m so sorry you had to hear these things, too! How lucky and blessed you are with your three girls! And I bet the older two are over the moon with their little sister!