Grief is an ugly thing, but it’s a natural thing and part of a process that we all go through. Recently, I’ve been thinking about grief and grieving. So many loved ones are experiencing it, and to be honest, I think we are all grieving in some way. I went back to the hardest loss I’ve experienced, and thought about it and realized there was something often missing and really one thing I wish people would have said to be about grieving.
But, no, not what you think I mean. The feelings are roller coasters and ocean waves and you never know what to expect.
Not it’s okay, like all is well, but instead,
“It’s okay to…”
Cry until there are no more tears
Not want to do anything
Not know how to go on
Tell a joke
Be absolutely miserable
Feel like your heart is breaking into a million pieces
Feel like things will never be right
Know that one day things will be easier and today is not that day
Have a good day
Have a bad day
Push through because you feel like you have to, not because you want to
There isn’t a right or wrong way to grieve. It’s okay to have the feelings, no matter what they are. I think sometimes we try to project our feelings on others and almost suggest how they should feel.
It would have made me feel better knowing that others had the same feelings I had when I was grieving. To know that I wasn’t alone in my feelings.
People said other things right, too, and they were appreciated, but in those moments of feelings, I would have liked somebody to tell me it was okay to feel just that way.