Alternate title: Things that might seem cute the first time you hear them, but after a while, they get offensive.
First, I’ll give you some suggestions of nice things to say to me about my kids:
Notice, none of these say he/she or him/her in any of these.
“Oh, what a cute baby.”
“What beautiful hair.”
“Look at that gorgeous red hair.”
“Such a sweet heart.”
Things that really aren’t so nice to say to me about my kids.
“Where did she get that red hair?”
Well, I could draw a Punnet Square and do a lesson in genetics, I’d rather not. Red hair is recessive. Two people that do not have red hair can and do have kids with red hair. In fact, both of our girls have red hair. I don’t like the implication that she’s not mine or my husband’s.
“Oh, wow, she doesn’t miss a meal does she?” or the alternate “Are you sure you are feeding her enough.”
Ummmm…. I want a healthy happy baby and she is that. I do take offense to this. I feel like people are implying that I am over feeding her or underfeeding her (in #1’s case; she was seriously underweight). Kids are different (#1 at 4 months, 4th percentile; #2 at 4 months 50th percentile). They will be different shapes and sizes. And, yes, I do have silly nicknames for them that go according to their sizes, “skinny mini” and “chuck a munk” but those are mine!!! So, yes, it may be a double standard.
I want my girls to know they are beautiful and gorgeous girls and I don’t like the fact that people at society are already weighing in on how they look and their sizes.
“So, are you going to try for a boy” or “when are you going to start trying for a boy?”
First of all, my reproductive system and mine and my husband’s reproductive practices are none of your business. Second, I really don’t like my girls to hear that. I love them. We love them. I don’t want them to feel like we love them less because they are girls.
We are so happy, blessed and fortunate to have such beautiful, healthy girls. It really doesn’t matter what gender they are.
And, when you ask #1 “Are you beautiful?” and she responds “No, I’m gorgeous” know that she is and that she will always think so.
This is not directed at any one specific comment either here or in real life, just things that I have been noticing and been bothered by. I know that people mean well when they ask them, but when I hear them repeatedly, I do start to get offended.