Build us up instead of tearing us down | Stream of Consciousness Sunday
They say you’ve made it big when the nasty and troll comments come in. Even if it’s just a couple here or there. As writers, we have to not take them personally. But, personally, it’s hard for me not to.
There is way too much of people (mothers and women especially) tearing each other down instead of building each other up. It’s harmful, hurtful and downright mean. Nothing good will come of it. (Does the person doing the tearing down get a “high” from it? Does it really make them feel better?)
We see moms writing things like “It must be nice…” or “Aren’t you lucky that you get to….” Just like with anything, it takes hard work. It takes time. Pretty much everything takes hard work. Why must we be so mean, critical and harsh to people that are busting their butts and winning at life? Or even having a small victory?
Be happy for them. Celebrate them. Give them a loud “hell yeah, girl. YOU ARE AWESOME AND YOU’VE GOT THIS!”
Build them up
Pay them a compliment.
- “What did you do with your hair today? It looks amazing!”
- “I love that color on you!”
- “Your kids are behaved so well today!”
- “This dinner is awesome!”
Do something nice for somebody out of the blue
- Do a random act of kindness
- Hold open a door for a person and linger a little longer
- Engage a stranger in conversation at the store
- Ask somebody how you can help them
Call a loved one and tell them they are rocking something.
- Grandpa Joe called me out of the blue one day and told me what an awesome mom I am. If that doesn’t make a mom smile, I don’t know what does.
- Call your mom and thank her for raising you right (you know she deserves some credit).
- Call a sibling and ask their opinion on something that they are awesome at.
- Reach out of a friend and lift them up
Tell them it gets easier/better/more awesome
- At a restaurant, a man approached our table (I brace myself for the redhead or all girl comments), and instead he said “you are so blessed to have an awesome family. It is such a wonderful thing and so amazing!” Guaranteed smiles.
- Help distract a kid at the store/ park/ in line that is obviously having a hard time. You’d be amazing what a compliment to an upset kid will do and how much it will help a mom out. A 1 minute conversation that distracts a kid is an eternity to a parent.
Leave a comment
- Find a new blog and leave a nice supportive comment.
- See a post in your FB stream that’s getting a lot of hate? Find something positive to say.
Find a way this week to help build somebody up. If you find yourself tearing them down, bite your tongue, hold your typing fingers and click the little “X” and walk away. You have nothing to gain with ugliness and everything to lose.
This was my 5 minute Stream of Consciousness Sunday post. It’s five-ish minutes of your time and a brain dump. Go link up with All Things Fadra and Love Jaime and join in!
LOVE this list … wouldn’t the world be a better place if people just did a few of these!!!
I love you!!!
Hugs, Melissa!
Hopefully, some people will take note. I need to do better about it, too! Paying a compliment is always free!
I’ve experienced some interesting stuff this past week, since being featured on the Huffington Post. SO many opinions from people who don’t know me AT ALL. I was called everything from “frumpy” to a terrible self-taker. LOL. All because of a fun list I wrote about being 40. Did I let it bother me? A little, but then I realized these people do not know me AT all and do not see all the other things I write or post. And again, they know nothing else about me.
Sorry to go on about that, I’ve just had personal experience with the negative this week and so I was nodding A LOT while reading this entire post.
THANK YOU for writing this and putting it out there, Krystyn!!! We need more and more of THIS!!!
Maybe I need a couple more years to not let it bother me? I don’t know..maybe I’m a sensitive person masquerading as a thick-skinned person.
I just don’t get why it makes people feel good or happy to be a jerk like that? How do they disconnect themselves so much that they don’t realize they are talking about/to a person?
I’m totally with your on this. I never can understand why people find joy in tearing others down rather that building people up. A kind word can go a long way.
And, kind words are free!
I don’t understand ALL the negativity – especially in the online world. I’ll definitely be making more of an effort over the next few weeks to really up my nice game. Thanks for the reminder. 🙂
this is a great list and a great post. You are a great mom. I have also received a lot of really nice compliments on your blog and your writing skills.
For some folks bashing folks online is like a sport.
Granted, I don’t mind disagreements because we’re all entitled to our opinions.
But to outright insult people you don’t know is ridiculous.
Oh, no, I don’t mind a disagreement or respectful conversation. I’m talking full-on mean and hateful words.
Totally agreed. Saying something nice goes a long way, and the old adage, “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all” counts!
I love your suggestions. Honestly, it used to be easy for me to hide behind a curtain of jealousy (luckily it was long before social media). They say with age comes wisdom and I think age also brings contentment and perspective. Great post!!
Best thing I’ve read all day! The world definitely needs more kindness.
Awww….thanks, Mandy!